I have a fairy by my side Which says I must not sleep, When once in pain I loudly cried It said "You must not weep." If, full of mirth, I smile and grin, It says "You must not laugh;" When once I wished to drink some gin It said "You must not quaff." When once a meal I wished to taste It said "You must not bite;" When to the wars I went in haste It said "You must not fight." "What may I do?" at length I cried, Tired of the painful task. The fairy quietly replied, And said "You must not ask." Moral: "You mustn't."
|RULES AND REGULATIONS
A short direction To avoid dejection, By variations In occupations, And prolongation Of relaxation, And combinations Of recreations, And disputation On the state of the nation In adaptation To your station, By invitations To friends and relations, By evitation Of amputation, By permutation In conversation, And deep reflection You'll avoid dejection. Learn well your grammar, And never stammer, Write well and neatly, And sing most sweetly, Be enterprising, Love early rising, Go walk of six miles, Have ready quick smiles, With lightsome laughter, Soft flowing after. Drink tea, not coffee; Never eat toffy. Eat bread with butter. Once more, don't stutter. Don't waste your money, Abstain from honey. Shut doors behind you, (Don't slam them, mind you.) Drink beer, not porter. Don't enter the water Till to swim you are able. Sit close to the table. Take care of a candle. Shut a door by the handle, Don't push with your shoulder Until you are older. Lose not a button. Refuse cold mutton. Starve your canaries. Believe in fairies. If you are able, Don't have a stable With any mangers Be rude to strangers. Moral: Behave.
April 12, 2003